tired of fighting...

quarrel....quarrel...quarrel....and QUARREL!!
this word can't escape in my life....
i was wondering...is it quarrel will make us more understand each other or make our relationship become worsen??
is it somethings wrong with me??or you??
we keep on fighting....quarrel...i don't want it anymore...!!stop it!!
i really tired..i'm absolutely exhausted....i just wanna take a rest...
i don't know what happen to me or you?
we keep on fighting with something not fatal..
we keep on angry each other with something can solve it easily..but although it can solve it...
we still fight...
am i wrong??i apologize...but it seems like doesn't help but worsen...
and what happen to me??i also keep on angry with you..
i don't know why??i can't answer!
i just can't control my temper on you..
do we want to keep on fighting like this??
you are going to apart...
you gonna leave me soon..
what is my future??are you still with me?????????

the stressed over!!

finally all the stressed gone..
i felt relief after the exam...
for all these years i have been waiting for...
but i still don't satisfied...
something still disrupted my life....
what's going on....??
i just wanna stay free without worried...
what am i frustrated of??
no reply.....
i heard nothing...my mind came out nothing...
it just drive me mad without any reason..
at least give me hint ....at least i can guess and solve it..
as the saying goes.....no one can make you feel inferior without your consent...
did someone mke me feel inferior???

My AnSwEr??

SpEnDiNg My LiFe Do NoThInG bUt WaStInG...

what am i doing now??
having trial and spm is coming soon...
but seems like i am doing nothing...
there was no any hard work i have done for my exam..my future...
besides,i was plying for everyday..
am i tired,exhausted,lazy,moody,or finding a lot of excuses to overcome my mistake...
my lfe was full of fun...but that was not my target...
for all these year...what am i doing??
an important exam coming soon to confirm my future...
when should i start?now?
maybe that's right...
i should start now...

HoW CaN I tRuSt YoU??

you make me change my life...
.......change the way i think about trust...
maybe you doesn't know that you are the one who let me feel inferior...
it doesn't mean that i hate you...but what you said was really mean a lot to me..
you are different from others...the way you treat me and the way you think..
a strong feeling that comes to me..
i told you what i was thinking..and you said you felt the way i think of you too...
i think that's not true...i still cannot feel anything...
you doesn't seem worried or care...
i felt frustrated...i don't want this feeling destroy my smile..i give up..
after a few month you find me again..was today..
you told me that you having your crushes on me...is it the truth??
but i doesn't trust you anymore..you treat me as a fool??
and there's someone who really treat me good...what he had did was really touched my heart..
my tears drop, because of him..he didn't bully me but he did something that i didn't had before...
he show how he felt to me by touching me..but you only make me felt frustrated...
i really can't easily trust anyone now..because really fake...

EvErYtHiNg WiLl bE fInE...

the day you left was the day of sorrow...
when you are no longer in my sight...
suddenly my tears dropped,and wet my face...
i know that is the time we apart...
i was unbearable to leave you..
my mind went blank and i felt so lost...
when i saw the strong looks on your face it seems like an etched craving on my heart...
is there any other solution??but it's too late now...
and you left...
the next day i receive your calls..i felt happy..
but your voice seems strange ...
what happened??have you been crying??
anyone bullied you??
no,there's no one...but wanna leave this place... sobbing..
i know this place was terrible..but this is what each and anyone have to go through..
i pretend to be strong in front of you so you wont feel afraid...
but that was not true...i was absolutely worried..
was it tough for you?? are you use to the food over there??do you slept well yesterday?
at this point,my tears dropped again...
i know nothing..i feel so ashamed..
only the negative thinking comes to my mind right now....
but that is not the end of the end of the world...
trust me,by the end of the day....
everything will be fine...

what am i thinking of???

days pass after days...
i am still waiting...why wouldn't you show yourself?
thinking of you is the most unbearable things in my life..
i'm the one who always take the initiative all this while..
i always find the opportunity to see you...
but we seems like stranger all the time...
why we not dare to chat?
we take a glance at each other..
is this the right way we communicate?
but my inbox will appeared your name after we met..
but why we always chat about something not related...
i wondered what is in mind?
who am i in your life?
nothing at all?or i am the one who live in her shadow?
if it is true...i don't wanna find you!!
not because of my pride but to let myself feel better without you...
but i will wait until you willing to find me...

What a funky day...

we decided to play badminton today...
haiya,when we reached the place the door locked...then we can't play..
so we go to Zhu's house...she teach us baked chocolate cookies..
wow...so nice...haha
we wanna make some alphabet cookies...yer...but the alphabet cookies and love shape cookies was terrible..haha
haiyo,then my baobei went back and brought back some cookies..haha
after baking we went to Zhu's room and brought Miao Miao along...haha
so sweeet..she so cute lo...felt like wanna hug her de..haha
Pui try to count how many times Garis Zai slapped by Miao Miao and Zhu..haha
then Pui also help me play viwawa...wow...with her skill from 3 drop to 2 but finally upgrade to 3 wor...haha
then we felt tired and went back...it is really nice to play with my frenz..haha
i enjoyed myself.haha
thanks my BaoBeix..

Dont run away even if you hate me...

i hate the person who ignore me...
run away from me...
escape from my sight...
i hate the feeling of facing this...
if you really hate me...just spit it out...
i can understand and i wont appear in your sigth..
i will run away from you as you always do...
pretend to be a stranger whenever i see you..
not interested to know about something related to you...
i dont mind hiding away from you,but i mind when i saw you hiding away from me..

do you know what is best friend?
playing with each other...talking..chatting...quarreling...fighting...
or the person you care the most doesn't include your lover and family...
the person who always share your sadness and happiness..
the person who always be there to help without asking anything in return...
you are the first person that comes to his/her mind before everyone else..
the person you willing to sacrifice for him/her...
the person you need when you're in trouble..
whatever he/she says means alot to you...
the person will hurt you alot when he/she betrays you...
the person you always trust..
the person who know you more,more than you know yourself..
so...do you have best friend??
a good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute.he may not seem such a good friend after telling....

am i annoying???why everyone look like angry with me??
what i have done??please tell me..don't be quiet and say nothing just look at me like very angry...i really scare...and i really already try my best to d0 everything that i can...why it seems like i do wrong??i really miserable..please don't did this to me...really hurt my heart..you know i really care of what you think and what you do..but sometime i really cant understand what are you thinking of..and you just ignore me and leave me alone..do you know how i feel when you did this to me???
what i do for you just wanna you to be happy..every time i am worried about the next morning you turns into blue again...i really afraid to see you when you become unhappy...i really wish to see you smile everyday and play like mad everyday..at least you didn't look so down..
please tells me when you are not happy don't put everything in you heart and don't wanna vent out..you can choose to don't tell me if that is your secret at least you don't ignore me..

ThE pErSoN iN thE DaRknEsS...

Everyone enjoy their life??or suffers in their life???
suffering of love in their life..Is the most frequent things that happen..
My friend cried because of love and hurt because of love.i cant make him feel better even though i already console him..what can i do??i really confuse..i just can listen to the song he sang to me and do nothing to help him..listen to the romantic story he tells me to vent out his sadness..
i cried after listening,why??is he story touching me,or i can feel the pain he tells me??
i wish i can accompany him when his birthday that is coming soon..he really felt sad that he lost his girlfriend and have to celebrate alone on his birthday.i can go to sing with him and make him feel better..but i just can apologize to him that i cant go out on that day..."sorry"really sorry..
the memories in his mind cant disappeared easily...he still remind everything even though he didn't saw her..is that the power of love that just like a memory card can save the incident that had happened??and it can just be deleted when another more happy incident has occurs..when will the incident happen to delete my friend's mind??i really don't wanna him to recall the sad things that make him looks sad...please be happy and i miss your smile..look forward you will found that you are not the only person staying in the earth..

ThE pErSoN iN thE DaRknEsS...

everything have change...
especially people's mind....i very curious of what everyone think of...
nowadays i think love is more important for everyone...all my friend suffers because of love..but there is also some who content with their love..
i hope everyone will conscious of what they are doing and never regret of what they have done..
is it love really important in our life??
everyone have their own lover..it doesn't care boy,girl,gay or les... it is the same...
but i find that love is a kind of drug that will let everyone addicted..when you started to love someone,you will use all method to let the person fall in love with you and when you lost it..you will suffers a lot of pain..
love will also change people's mind...it let someone becomes a fool,selfish,greedy,petty...
they will force their lover to do what they don't wanna do,and what they wish them to do...
but some of them really willing to do...
what is really special about love???
i know that when you really found your true love you will become the most happiest person in the world..there is no "sad"in your life...and you are not lonely anymore..
you enjoy your life everyday...
if you really want to love ,please don't regret what you have choose...if you really want to brake up,please don't regret what you have lost..when you have regret,you should not choose to love.....