tired of fighting...

quarrel....quarrel...quarrel....and QUARREL!!
this word can't escape in my life....
i was wondering...is it quarrel will make us more understand each other or make our relationship become worsen??
is it somethings wrong with me??or you??
we keep on fighting....quarrel...i don't want it anymore...!!stop it!!
i really tired..i'm absolutely exhausted....i just wanna take a rest...
i don't know what happen to me or you?
we keep on fighting with something not fatal..
we keep on angry each other with something can solve it easily..but although it can solve it...
we still fight...
am i wrong??i apologize...but it seems like doesn't help but worsen...
and what happen to me??i also keep on angry with you..
i don't know why??i can't answer!
i just can't control my temper on you..
do we want to keep on fighting like this??
you are going to apart...
you gonna leave me soon..
what is my future??are you still with me?????????

the stressed over!!

finally all the stressed gone..
i felt relief after the exam...
for all these years i have been waiting for...
but i still don't satisfied...
something still disrupted my life....
what's going on....??
i just wanna stay free without worried...
what am i frustrated of??
no reply.....
i heard nothing...my mind came out nothing...
it just drive me mad without any reason..
at least give me hint ....at least i can guess and solve it..
as the saying goes.....no one can make you feel inferior without your consent...
did someone mke me feel inferior???

My AnSwEr??

SpEnDiNg My LiFe Do NoThInG bUt WaStInG...

what am i doing now??
having trial and spm is coming soon...
but seems like i am doing nothing...
there was no any hard work i have done for my exam..my future...
besides,i was plying for everyday..
am i tired,exhausted,lazy,moody,or finding a lot of excuses to overcome my mistake...
my lfe was full of fun...but that was not my target...
for all these year...what am i doing??
an important exam coming soon to confirm my future...
when should i start?now?
maybe that's right...
i should start now...

HoW CaN I tRuSt YoU??

you make me change my life...
.......change the way i think about trust...
maybe you doesn't know that you are the one who let me feel inferior...
it doesn't mean that i hate you...but what you said was really mean a lot to me..
you are different from others...the way you treat me and the way you think..
a strong feeling that comes to me..
i told you what i was thinking..and you said you felt the way i think of you too...
i think that's not true...i still cannot feel anything...
you doesn't seem worried or care...
i felt frustrated...i don't want this feeling destroy my smile..i give up..
after a few month you find me again..was today..
you told me that you having your crushes on me...is it the truth??
but i doesn't trust you anymore..you treat me as a fool??
and there's someone who really treat me good...what he had did was really touched my heart..
my tears drop, because of him..he didn't bully me but he did something that i didn't had before...
he show how he felt to me by touching me..but you only make me felt frustrated...
i really can't easily trust anyone now..because really fake...

EvErYtHiNg WiLl bE fInE...

the day you left was the day of sorrow...
when you are no longer in my sight...
suddenly my tears dropped,and wet my face...
i know that is the time we apart...
i was unbearable to leave you..
my mind went blank and i felt so lost...
when i saw the strong looks on your face it seems like an etched craving on my heart...
is there any other solution??but it's too late now...
and you left...
the next day i receive your calls..i felt happy..
but your voice seems strange ...
what happened??have you been crying??
anyone bullied you??
no,there's no one...but wanna leave this place... sobbing..
i know this place was terrible..but this is what each and anyone have to go through..
i pretend to be strong in front of you so you wont feel afraid...
but that was not true...i was absolutely worried..
was it tough for you?? are you use to the food over there??do you slept well yesterday?
at this point,my tears dropped again...
i know nothing..i feel so ashamed..
only the negative thinking comes to my mind right now....
but that is not the end of the end of the world...
trust me,by the end of the day....
everything will be fine...

what am i thinking of???

days pass after days...
i am still waiting...why wouldn't you show yourself?
thinking of you is the most unbearable things in my life..
i'm the one who always take the initiative all this while..
i always find the opportunity to see you...
but we seems like stranger all the time...
why we not dare to chat?
we take a glance at each other..
is this the right way we communicate?
but my inbox will appeared your name after we met..
but why we always chat about something not related...
i wondered what is in mind?
who am i in your life?
nothing at all?or i am the one who live in her shadow?
if it is true...i don't wanna find you!!
not because of my pride but to let myself feel better without you...
but i will wait until you willing to find me...